In my last post (Click here to check it out!) I promised to share the five rules of communication!
Here is a step by step guide on how to communicate when you are expressing your disagreement with someone:
- Actively listen and seek to understand before you seek to be understood
- Actively empathize and use reflective listening to let the other person know you understand: For example: “What I’m hearing is it really hurts you when I speak condescendingly to you. I understand where you’re coming from”
- Do not devalue or explain away what the other person is feeling or saying. Don’t get defensive. Remember that their feelings are also valid
- Clarify to make sure you understand by asking questions. Let them know you’re asking questions to understand and not to undermine their feelings
- Use ‘I’ statements that show you are taking responsibility for what you need or feel: For example- Instead of “You make me feel so unloved” try “When you’re late, I begin to feel not cared for”.
These tips were gotten from the book “Boundaries in Marriage” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I highly recommend it!
What do you think about the tips above? Have you ever tried a different way of communication and how did that work out for you? Please share your thoughts below!
Thanks for reading.
Akhere
